Feeling 'Off' . . .

I had a truly odd experience while biking to class today. The chastity belt sensation persisted. But I also just felt uprooted. As though I didn't know where I ended and the rest of the world began. Every single curb that I came close to I almost knocked into. I simply could not calculate the distance and control my bike accordingly. Thankfully the cars cut me a break - save for one guy in an SUV who decided to cut me off and then wolf-whistled at me afterwards. Insult to injury. Yes.

I was wearing my favorite blue ribbed t-shirt and my jeans, rolled up to my knees with my biking shoes. One of my favorite outfits to bike in. But I recognize that it does leave me appearing a bit more masculine. Normally I don't care. But today it left me feeling twitchy the entire time I was biking. I just wanted to get off my bike and change my clothes. I felt like a monster. And I was feeling incredible sensitive in making eye contact with men - as if they could somehow see through my clothes. And through me.

So . . . twitchy . . . uncomfortable . . . uprooted . . . vulnerable . . . with no sense of boundaries.

I think part of it has to do with the dietary transition. I'm used to having food in my diet that acts as a ballast in grounding me. Now, with the elimination of wheat, sugar, dairy, and eating less protein and more vegetables, not only have I lost some of the 'grounding' sensation that the food brought . . . but my energy is also naturally just lifting higher because the quality and energy of the food is better. It's weird.

The one thing I will say about biking tonight is that . . . well two things . . . 1) it was easier today than it has been in quite awhile to bike - more energy, better flow, better body mechanics (even if I couldn't navigate the bike properly around curbs) and 2) biking home tonight as the fog was rolling in with the crescent moon above, was absolutely beautiful.